The Blind Inquirer
Starting a dialog with another owner by blindly asking, “What do you want for X player” is not something that is likely to elicit a response. If you are interested in a player on their team, it is because that player has some value. And that owner doesn’t want to just move that player willy nilly. Give them something to work with. Don’t make them do the leg work structuring a trade for you.
Start the conversation by saying, “I see Player X as a value of a Tier 1 Top 5 of Position X. If I came up with a deal that gave you that value, would you be interested?” If you know you are willing to at least pay two Tier 1 players for Player X, start the conversation by saying, “Hey, would a Tier 1 RB1 and a Tier 2 WR1 for Player X interest you as a starting point?” Or you could simply ask, “I see Player X as a value of one Tier 1 player and one Tier 2 players. If I came up with a deal that gave you that value, would you be interested?”
The Player X owner now has something to work from to try and form a deal and offer a counter such as “I think Player X is worth more like one Tier 1 RB1 and one Tier 1 WR1. I’d need another good pick or a decent rookie prospect from your team.” Now there is a conversation going. You are not making them do all the work in the negotiations but coming to them with something tangible.
When you send a blind inquiry, it feels like either a) the other owner wants me to build the deal so they can see if they can get the player for cheap or b) they don’t know how to value players, and they want me to do all the work, so that I can give away a player that I already roster. If you are going to try to acquire a player, give the other owner an initial offer to work from. Otherwise, you are just asking them to do all the work on a deal you initiated and should be told to go fuck yourself.
The Low Baller
We’ve all done it. We have all thought the same thing. A player gets injured, or a situation changes, and we think, “maybe I can get that guy for cheap now.” While the idea of getting a steal is always enticing, crossing the line when an offer is just offensive and turns an owner off from ever wanting to work on a deal with you. Don’t low-ball. Give them an actual offer to work with. Everyone wants to win a trade. You don’t accept a trade without thinking it is a deal that helps your team. Put yourself in the other owner’s shoes and think of why they would want to accept the deal you are offering. If there is no logical reason they would want to accept, then you have a low-ball offer on your hands and you should be told to go fuck yourself.
The Over Seller
The opposite end of the spectrum is when you try to convince another owner that the deal they don’t want is good for them. We often see this when an owner tries to take advantage of a player who has had a sudden shift in value. This can be due to a great weekly performance or an injury to a teammate. It is never a problem to try and take advantage of a spike in value. In fact, that is the smartest thing you can do. But trying to shove a player down the throats of other owners is never going to get you anywhere in a trade. If an owner starts telling everyone on the league message board his offers are a fair offer and that one of us should want to make the trade because of the lack of depth we all have. We appreciate the enthusiasm (to a point). But we don’t need another owner explaining why the trade they offered is smart, and we are dumb not to take it. We all hold different values for players. We all build our teams with different strategies. If you send an offer and it’s declined, leave it at that. Sure, you can ask if there is any interest and a way to tinker with the proposed deal. But you do not need to insult someone’s intelligence by trying to say they are wrong for not wanting to accept a deal, especially when you are taking advantage of some good fortune from one of your players spiking in value and you should be told to go fuck yourself.
The S**t Sandwich
There is value in every player that is on your team. But far too often, owners hold these rostered players to a higher value than the person they are dealing with. They have hope in the player’s breakout. The other owner doesn’t have to put false hope on a player they don’t have and won’t value them the same way. Eventually, some owners get so excited about the potential value they believe it has turned into actual value. Thinking this value exists, they decide to strike while the iron is hot and put together a cluster of hopefuls in a deal for a legitimate producer. This trade sandwich usually involves three or four fringe players offered for one top-15 player. The owner argues that they are giving you depth and talent in multiple areas when all they are really sending is a bunch of scraps for a proven product.
Don’t send these deals. You are just annoying owners who want to get legitimate offers for their good players. If anything, this deal is more of a pain because you are asking the other owner to find roster spots for all the mediocre players you are sending. Understand the actual value of your players instead of their potential value. Give a legitimate offer. No one is looking to be your garbage man and take all your sub-par players for one of their good ones and you should be told to go fuck yourself.
The Reneger
The final rule you should never break is retracting on a deal you are offering. Specifically when the circumstances of the players in the deal haven’t changed. If something drastic happens to a player’s value in a deal, it is not a problem to call off a trade. If you are talking about giving up Christian McCaffrey and a WR to acquire Derrick Henry, and Henry gets hurt in practice that day, of course, it is OK to pull the deal off the table. But if you come to an owner and say, “I’ll give you McCaffrey and a WR for Henry,” that is a clear-cut offer. It may be more informal, and you haven’t actually proposed the deal to the Kommish on your league site. But you have put an actual offer on the table. If the owner comes back after looking into the deal and says they are good with that offer, you have a deal. What you cannot do is suddenly say, “On second thought, I am giving up too much. This should just be McCaffrey for Henry straight up.” Similarly, if they agree to the deal, you shouldn’t shop the deal around further with other owners to see if you can get something better. Don’t be the owner who responds, “Ok, well, I’m going to offer the same deal to [another owner] If he says no, then I am in.” No. That isn’t how negotiating works. If you offer a deal and the other owner accepts, you don’t get to keep offering the deal elsewhere and working out how much talent you can possibly get. As the other owner in trade talks like this, it is apparent that you are just looking to see how low I will go on an offer before I accept or how much anyone is willing to give you. This is terrible etiquette and should not be tolerated by other owners. If you propose a deal, follow through on it. Do not waste the other owner’s time looking into a deal you won’t ultimately follow through on and you should be told to go fuck yourself.
The Trade J**
If you have gone through an entire season of fantasy football without completing a single trade multiple seasons, never won a championship; then you are a trade j** and over value your players, are a chronic trade raper, and too stubborn to realize you are missing of the most fun parts of Fantasy Football. You might as well play weekly Draft Kings if you think you are a solo act and be told to go fuck yourself.
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